because i barely ate this week, i ate mcdonalds yesterday. i tried to puke it up but people kept coming in the bathroom so i couldnt:( but now im gonna be eating 15 calorie kettlecorn, granola bars and 80 calorie jerky. its all delicious too :)

just did my workout, and i feel AMAZING. :)
today i had some low calorie crackers and a nutri grain bar, and water of course.
id say that is pretty good.
too bad im not seeing any progress since i hit my 1st goal weight..

my feelings everyday.

FUCKING YES

i reached my first goal weight. so now im 120 and thats awesome but now i gotta lose 5 more :)

today was awesome! i didnt eat all day, then i had a french vanilla iced coffee. it was yummy:)
then i was at my boyfriends house so i had to eat dinner but i took a small scoop of american chopped suey and didnt even eat it all. and i had two mini pickles. todays' total calories of food was about 400 and the coffee was about 400 so thats 800 but i burned off about 150 and im gonna burn more from my workout tonight.

i purged today,
     that is all.

i got my period today and my cramps are extremely painful. i also get really bad stomach aches when im on my period, so i have absolutely no appetite. but thats good.
i grabbed a couple granola bars in case i do get hungry. maybe ill grab some veggies instead. 
mmm corn! mmm broccoli! mmm beans! :D
but for now, ill be resting so i feel better. heres some pictures though if you need motivation to get thin!

schoolday#1

no breakfast for me this morning:)
lunch money is saved in my box,
now all i have to wait for is dinner.
i think i can pull off not eating dinner though.


this is my motivation for today.

this is me now. 

5'5 1/2

weight: 125

im hoping to lose 5 pounds right now. 

im making people think that im not excited for school because theyd be like "wtf?" haha, but honestly i am! once school starts its easier to skip breakfast and lunch and when i get home i dont have to eat dinner because my parents dont care. i just stay in my room and ill be busy with homework, working out, and sleeping! wahoo! im so happy. 

THIGH GAP, HIP BONES, RIBS, FLAT STOMACH
ITS ALL SO PEFRECT. but it isnt me, and that really sucks.
some day, thats gonna be me. 
its going to take LOTS of dieting and exercising and secrets, 

food blog #1

today i had:
strawberry sensation smoothie; 420 calories
10 unsalted saltine crackers; 120 calories
6 strawberries; 24 calories

CALORIES BURNED; 100
total net calories;464

NEGATIVE CALORIES

Negative calorie diet: The Negative calorie diet is a weight loss concept based upon the premise that consumption of foods with a “negative caloric effect” (meaning that the calories burned by chewing, digesting, and eliminating the food are greater than those contained in the food itself) will lead to rapid weight loss of up to two pounds per day.

Fruits 

apple 
cranberries 
grapefruit 
lemon 
mango 
orange 
pineapple 
raspberries 
strawberries 
tangerine 

Vegetables 

asparagus 
beet 
broccoli 
cabbage (green) 
carrot 
cauliflower 
celery 
Chile peppers (hot) 
cucumber 
dandelion 
endive 
garden cress 
garlic 
green beans 
lettuce 
onion 
papaya 
radishes 
spinach 
turnip 

Tips to Eat Less!

1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full. 
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion. 
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great. 
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with. 
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories. 
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint. 
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism. 
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up. 
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight. 
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you. 
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards. 
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat. 
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box. 
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything. 
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times. 
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten. 17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more. 
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much. 
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in. 
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them. 
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%. 
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore. 
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty. 
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes where your parents can find them. They will think you ate. 
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are. 
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating. 
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated. 
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation. 
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight. 
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc. 
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have. 
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories. 
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more. 
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then! 
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite. 
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings. 
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more. 
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full. 
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry. 
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat. 
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full. 
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away. 
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite. 
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness. 
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it. 
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite. 
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’. 
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up. 
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories. 
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going. 
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night. 
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full.
53. If you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperature  This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees 

tomorrows monday and i cant wait because im starting my diet tomorrow. like no junk, no sweets or anything. im starting to take my vitamins again and basically all ill have is fruit smoothies. i really cannnnnnnott wait. im gonna be so happy and with a lot of cardio the weight will just come off. :)

i want to be so thin that people whisper how thin I've gotten behind my back.

i wasn't supposed to eat today..but i did and that's why i threw up. i don't care who's at my house.
this time was different though..i got a really bad stomach ache after i did. i think it was from the hot sauce. but oh well, it was still worth it. i just hope my friend doesn't figure out. and if she does i hope she keeps it to herself that she knows. 

Good Morning everyone! :)

well its morning, and morning means breakfast. but heeey! im not even hungry and my friend doesnt even care if i eat breakfast or not. so today should be good. i just have to get through lunch and dinner. wish me luck!

my friend is being fucking nosey. just let me type on my blog and leave me alone. BYE

PURGING

1. One of the BEST binging tips out there is: start out your binge on negative/low cal foods. This is because as you binge your body begins to absorb the food you are binging on. By the time you purge, your body has already absorbed about 20% of what you have eaten (in a half hour). If you begin with negative calories, that is what your body will absorb first!

2. ‘Markers’ are good tricks. Low fat green, orange or yellow jello is a GREAT choice. This way, when you purge you can insure that everything is out once your marker is up.

3. Avoid foods like bread, meat, cereals and pastry. These are extremely difficult to bring up, or when they come up, they will painfully come up in chunks!

4. NEVER brush your teeth immediately after purging! This will cause decaying because of the stomach acid that is brought up with purging. If possible, keep your mouth open as long as possible, and when your mouth feels ‘dried out’ rinse it with baking soda.

5. When purging, keep fingers and instruments inside throat after first gag, this will bring more food up when you actually do vomit.

6. Be sure to purge within one hour of eating, anytime after a half an hour is the VERY best.

7. If you have a rough time purging with your fingers, use the end of a tooth brush. (Or any instrument with a sort of handle)

8. Drink LOTS of water. It might take longer to bring everything up, but it will be easier to bring up and you will get more up.

9. Once you think you are finished purging, drink a big glass of water, do a couple of sit ups and go for it again.MORE food will come up!

10. A good method is to purge, and after wards, to clean ALL of it out, is to take 4-6 laxative to follow.  You will be positively EMPTY!

11. Drink salt water after you binge. It helps to break down the food into one easy purge able mess.

12. Diet drinks are also useful for making the process of purging easier.

13. While gagging push out with our stomach muscles and breath out as well. These movements will move the food more quickly out!

14. CHEW CHEW CHEW! Although it can be difficult while in the middle of a binge, chewing our food fully will make purging 10x more easier!

15. Do not KNEEL by the toilet, instead, stand bending over. The food has a clearer passage to come back up.

16. Having trouble getting those last bits out? Punch yourself in the stomach, HARD, it works wonderfully!

17. Avoid anything citrus and spicy. It will BURN like hell when you go to bring it up, and is horrible in mix with stomach acid on teeth!

18. Don’t want splash up? Use layers of toilet paper on the water; it will mediate the ‘splash effect’ wonderfully!

19. Once you start purging DON’T BREAK, or else your motivation to keep the up the nasty experience of purging will disappear.

20. NEVER try purging without plenty of liquids. This is dangerous as it could cause choking!

Keeping Pretty

As obvious when losing weight using the so called ‘drastic measures’ that we use, we also lose nutrients. This can, and eventually will cause poor health, especially to skin, hair and bones. We want to keep looking and feeling pretty girls (or boys) so here is the scoop on how to stay as healthy as possible.

1. If you purge with fingers you WILL develop scars as the hydrochloric acid in your stomach is very hard on your skin. You might want to consider using a tooth brush or other instrument to purge. If purging with your fingers is your preferred method, then use polysporin or other medicated creams, as well as vitamin E to minimize scarring. (This is also a tell tale sign).

2. Purging a lot causes a deficit in electrolytes which can affect your cardiovascular and immune system. After purging drink a low-cal sports drink (Gatorade is good!) too keep your electrolytes up.

3. Keep up in your vitamins! I cannot stress how important this is! Take a multivitamin daily (insure you take these at least 1 hour before any binge/purge episodes, or else the vitamins will not be absorbed.

4. Using vitamin enriched lotions (especially vitamins A,C, or E)  as these will help with counter any drying out of your skin. Also, ensuring you stay well hydrated is important for healthy skin.

5. Diuretics and laxative deplete your body of potassium, as a deficit in potassium can cause heart arrhythmias and a variety of other serious problems it is necessary to keep your potassium levels up. Eat a banana but DO NOT purge.

6. Purging and restricting can also lower you immune system. Those multi-vitamins as well as regular excersize can boost your immune system. Antioxidants (vitamin A, C, E and selenium) are all very important!

7. Use caffeine creams to help counter the puffiness and bruising that can be caused by purging to the eyes, not only is this a tell tale sign, but it looks horrible!

8. Rinsing your mouth with hydrogen peroxide weekly will keep your teeth and gums bacteria-free and will whiten your teeth at the same time!

We WILL be adding more as this site grows! Please message or email me for your own tips or tricks! Thanks!

okay i just ate chips and dip. i ruined a perfectly good day of barely eating. wtf, i might as well already be dead. i want to throw up but my friend is over.
                                                              

    DAMN

i really wish my fucking mom would buy a scale. yanno, some people actually care about their weight and it pisses me off that she thinks its  "not good to keep in the household."  seriously (dying)

i realized that coffee makes me sick. so im starting to think that maybe if i have a coffee everyday it will be easier to not eat a lot during the day. Today i had a coffee from Dunkins that was about 300 calories and a breakfast sandwich at home that was 410 calories. i burned off probably about 100 but im going to work out later too. im hungry but i know i cant eat so.. yeah. thats that.

I will get skinny: I love making food for other people. I don't have ...

I will get skinny: I love making food for other people. I don't have ...: I love making food for other people. I don't have to weigh anything, I don't have to count the calories in my head, I don't have...

I guess I should share a little about me. When I was younger I lived with my real family. It was a really rough living environment. My mom wasn't the greatest. We were abused, neglected and very rarely were given meals. My sister, my brother and I were all underweight and by the time I was 8 DSS took us away from our home. I went to a couple different homes and then moved with a family that adopted me. I was always a happy child, but when I moved everything changed. I ate so much, and it was all junk. I wasn't used to having so much food, so all I did was eat. I gained a lot of weight and my self-esteem dropped. I was the fat friend and everyone made fun of me. I acted confident because sometimes I really was, but towards the end of 8th grade when I turned 13 I started to think differently. I started to think about how skinny people are, I would stare at myself in the mirror and I would hate my body. I started to worry about what i was eating and by 15 I was counting calories, dieting, exercising and i was severely depressed. My friends talked about it behind my back. They would say i was anorexic and never ate, i hated it. My relationships with people started to go downhill, especially with my boyfriend, so i stopped all of the crazy dieting. But then as I started gaining weight back, I started becoming really unhappy and i'm dieting again, counting again and purging again. This time will be different though. I wont make it so obvious; ill hide it better so people wont judge me and hate me.